Me and Nny
by Dark Twilight of the Phoenix Souls
Summary: Me and Nny have fun! PG-13 for language. (complete insanity inside) Please R+R
1. Default Chapter

Me and Nny, Talk Show Style!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Johnny, Jhonen Vasquez does, YOU CAN'T SUE!  
  
Onward to insane FUN!  
  
Me: *sits at desk* Welcome to Insanity Tonight! *news show music* Today we are having one of my most favorite comic book characters on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Johnny!  
  
Nny: *pops into big cushy chair beside Me* WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE!  
  
Me: Now, Now, aren't we feisty!  
  
Nny: *evil eye* Why have you brought me here?  
  
Me: To answer my questions!  
  
Nny: *looks at Me with annoyed look* Where is the door? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL MY KNIVES!?!?  
  
Me: I didn't want you to kill me so I took them.  
  
Nny: YOU WHAT? *gives long rant*  
  
Me: *didn't hear anything Nny said, is humming stuff song*  
  
Nny: *gets very, very angry, starts to strangle Me*  
  
Me: You-choke-bastard-choke-get-choke-off-gag-me *pulls out stun gun, shoots Nny with it*  
  
Nny: *goes limp*  
  
Nny's fan club of girls: NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT THE @#$! DID YOU DO!  
  
Me: Relax, I only stunned him, HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!  
  
Fan club: We don't care! *attacks Me* Me: *screams like prissy girl and runs* (Author's Note: I'm a guy!)  
  
Nny: *wakes up. still very angry, joins angry mob of girls*  
  
Girls: *see Nny, all have hearts in eyes, start to hug Nny*  
  
Nny: *has rude awakening* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams like prissy girl and runs*  
  
Girls: *chase after Nny*  
  
Nny: * escapes to alley behind studio, finds Me sitting on a box*  
  
Me: Why are you here?  
  
Nny: *collapses down into sitting position on ground* Angry mob of girls *shivers*  
  
That's the end of chapter 1 stay tuned for chapter 2: the BRAIN FREEZIES!  
  
Please R+R! Thanks! 


	2. THE BRAIN FREEZIES!

CHAPTER 2: THE BRAIN FREEZIES!!  
  
Disclaimer is in Chapter 1, so if you want to read it, GO NOW or face the wrath of the everlasting gopher! MHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Me: Hey, Nny, do you want to go get a Brain Freezy?  
  
Nny: *smiles pleasantly* (yes, pleasantly!) Sure, why not!  
  
Me and Nny: *walk into convenience store*  
  
Nny: *pulls out knife* GIVE US BRAIN FREEZIES OR I'LL CUT YOUR @#$%ING HEAD OFF!!!!!  
  
Me: Now, Nny, that's not very nice, but you're right, we should kill him if he doesn't give us Brain Freezies.  
  
Nny: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I WILL!!!!!  
  
Guy behind counter: *trembles in fear* DEAR GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!  
  
Nny: All right, that's it! *grabs guy by hair, cuts guy's throat* MHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Me: *eyes grow wide* HOLY SHIT! YOU @#$%ING KILLED HIM!!!  
  
Nny: Duh. I'm a homicidal maniac remember.  
  
Me: Oh yeah. *eye starts twitching uncontrollably, sneakers grow into metal- studded boots, shirt and jeans turn black, trenchcoat grows out of shoulders, hair becomes long and spiky, voice becomes dark and evil* Now, we go for our Brain Freezies.  
  
Nny: *eyes grow wide* I didn't know you could do that!  
  
Me: You never asked. Duh. *gets two Brain Freezies out of the machine* Now, we leave.  
  
Nny: Alright, let's get out of here.  
  
Me and Nny: *leave convenience store*  
  
Angry mob from Chapter1: Hey, look it's Nny! GET HIM. AND THE OTHER GUY!!  
  
Nny: HOLY SHIT! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!  
  
Me: Not to worry. *pulls out assortment of automatic weapons, kills angry mob*  
  
Nny: *eyes grow wider (if that's even physically possible)* I didn't know you could do that either! HEY! , HOW COME YOU HAVE BETTER WEAPONS THAN I DO! I'M THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO KILL EVERYONE!!!  
  
Me: Oh, wah. Do you ever stop nagging?  
  
Angry mob: *come back to life because of mystical voodoo magic* MUST GET NNY! MUST GET NNY! MUST GET NNY!  
  
Me and Nny: OH NO! WE CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS!  
  
Jenna: *drives up in cool-looking black Viper*  
  
Me and Nny: *stare*  
  
Jenna: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR! GET IN!  
  
Me and Nny: *jump in*  
  
Me: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Well then, that was interesting! Stay tuned for CHAPTER 3: THE SUPREME POWERS OF THE AUTHOR! But I won't write it if I don't get at least ten reviews! MHAHAHAHAHAHA! 


	3. Supreme Authoryness

I am having some problems with my word processor, so I cannot use contractions! Sorry!  
  
Hello, and welcome to my story. I could not wait for ten reviews, so here it is!  
  
CHAPTER 3: The Supreme Powers of the Author!!! All Disclaimers in Chapter 1 ************************************************************************ Me, Nny, and Jenna: *riding in black Viper*  
  
Nny: Where are we going, exactly?  
  
Jenna: To the Author.  
  
Me: *loud snore*  
  
Nny: *whacks Me hard* WAKE UP YOU LOAD OF WASTED SPACE!  
  
Me: *bolts upright, eyes glow red, stares at Nny*  
  
Nny: Hehehe, you just go on sleeping there, okay? Hehehehe.  
  
Me: *falls back into deep sleep*  
  
Nny: *taps Jenna on shoulder* Are we there yet?  
  
Jenna: No.  
  
Nny: Are we there yet?  
  
Jenna: No.  
  
Nny: How about now?  
  
Jenna: NO! JUST SIT BACK AND SHUT UP, GODDAMIT! *turns into demon-type monster like Me*  
  
Nny: *shrieks in fear* DEAR GOD, PLEASE HELP MEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Jenna: It is okay, I am not going to kill you , so relax!  
  
Nny: Ok, I will trust you, but just this once. *relaxes into seat*  
  
Jenna: *drives the car up to a brick wall* Okay, we are here!  
  
Nny: Wheeee! We are here! *looks at brick wall* Wait a minute! THIS IS A %#@&ING BRICK WALL!!!  
  
Jenna: Yeah. We are going BEHIND the wall!  
  
Nny: How? *stares as wall opens up*  
  
Jenna: That is how. *drives Viper in, Nny follows on foot, wall closes*  
  
Me: *even louder snore*  
  
Nny: WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAKE UP?! *to Jenna* Do you think I should wake him up?  
  
Jenna: No, but I do want to see some blood and gore, there hasn't been much of that lately. *whacks Me with a magically appearing baseball bat*  
  
Me: *bolts upright, again, ready to kill*  
  
Jenna: *points at Nny* He did it.  
  
Me: *attacks and beats the crap out of Nny*  
  
Nny: AHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Me: DIE!!!!  
  
Angry mob of resurrected zombies from Chapter 2: DO NOT HURT NNY! MUST GET ME! MUST GET ME!  
  
Me: AHHHHH!!!!  
  
Creepy guy in shadows: STOP! *everything stops except for Me, Nny, and Jenna*  
  
Me and Jenna: *walk up beside creepy guy* This is the Author!  
  
Nny: WHAT THE HELL IS THE AUTHOR DOING HERE?  
  
Author: I can do whatever I want. I am the author.  
  
Nny: Oh, yeah. *pulls out knife* THEN DIE!!!  
  
Author: *freezes Nny* Now, Johnny, Why do you have to be so mean? UGHH! *knife sticks out of chest* Oh, crap. I am dead. *falls over dead*  
  
Me: * eyes glow blue* NOW I HAVE THE POWER!  
  
Jhonen: *pops up* Can I have the car?  
  
Me: Sure. Whatever. Go ahead.  
  
Jhonen: Wheee! *jumps into Viper, drives out like a maniac, crashes into a tree* I AM OKAY!  
  
Angry mob of zombies: MUST GET ME! MUST GET ME! MUST GET ME!  
  
Me: *cups hands* KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!!!! *blue energy flies out, turns zombies into piles of gooey flesh* TAKE THAT, YOU ULGY PILES OF GOOP!  
  
Nny: *still frozen, becomes unfrozen, falls into a heap* AUGH! WHERE IS THAT ASSHOLE, I WILL KILL HIM, GODAMMIT!  
  
Me: Cool down, he is dead. I am the Author now.  
  
Nny: COOL!  
  
Me: Let us get out here. *makes futuristic hovercraft with his mind* Jenna, you drive.  
  
Jenna: COOL! *drives off*  
  
Me and Nny: *hang on for their lives* ************************************************************************  
  
The end of another chapter! YAY! I would tell you what the next chapter is about, but I have no ideas! So stay tuned! Signing off, The Duelist of Roses! Again, sorry if it sounds a little weird, but this was the only way I could think of to fix that earlier mistake. Sorry! 


	4. Battle Royale

Me: Hi, it's me, again!  
  
Nny: O God, when will this torture end?  
  
Me: WHEN I AM SATISFIED! *becomes big and scary*  
  
Nny: Eeeep. *cowers in fear*  
  
Jenna: *whacks them both with the magically appearing baseball bat* YOU IDIOTS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! GET ON WITH THE GODDAMN FIC!  
  
Me: Eeeeep! Ok. Fine. You win. ************************************************************************ ~ Chapter 4: Battle Royale! ~ ************************************************************************ Me and Nny: *still hanging on for their lives*  
  
Jenna: *decides she's driving in a NASCAR race* WHEEEEE!  
  
Me and Nny: AHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Jenna: *crashes the hovercraft that took so long to finish*  
  
Me: GREAT! NOW WE'RE @#$!ING STRANDED!  
  
Jenna: *grabs hold of the magically appearing baseball bat* Don't push it.  
  
Me: Hey! Why should I be afraid of you? I AM THE AUTHOR! NO ONE CAN DEFY MY POWER!  
  
Jenna: *takes kung-fu stance* Then I challenge you!  
  
Nny *puts up hands* Hey, guys! Hold it for a sec. *pulls up chair and opens a bag of popcorn* Okay!  
  
Me: *eyes glow blue, creates giant DBZ-type arena* I accept.  
  
Jenna: *eyes glow red, grows Lady Deathstryke-type claws, cups hands* KA-ME- HA-ME-HA! *red energy flies out towards Me*  
  
Me: *puts hands together with index fingers pointing out* JIGEN SHIELD *glows blue, absorbs blast* Is that all you got?  
  
Jenna: That, and much more. *flies into the air, holds out hands, energy disks appear* KI-ENZAN! *disks fly towards Me ready to cut him in half*  
  
Me: *disappears as the disks hit where he was just standing, arena explodes*  
  
Nny: *watches the fight like a fat man watching the food channel* BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!  
  
Me: *appears in front of Jenna* Do you think you can beat me so easily?  
  
Jenna: YES! *does super-fast bunch of punches*  
  
Me: *flies to the ground in a bloody heap* (Nny: KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!)  
  
Jenna: *puts hands on hips* Ha! You're not so tough!  
  
Me: *jumps up and a Super Saiyan transformation-y thing* I'M NOT DONE YET! *does super-speed jump*  
  
Jenna: *eyes glow red* BRING IT ON!  
  
Me and Jenna: *have big mid-air punching. thing*  
  
Me: *got the crap beat of him. again* Uggggghhhh! I don't feel so good.  
  
Nny: *jumps up and throws popcorn everywhere* DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! GET UP AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!  
  
Me: *does a Super Saiyan 3 transformation. thing* Okay. LET'S DO THIS! *attacks. again, gets the crap beaten out of him. AGAIN!*  
  
Nny: *jumps up* WHAT THE HELL! THIS IS A @#$!ING RIPOFF!  
  
Me: *goes to Super Saiyan 4, becomes so powerful that he FINALLY gets payback* ************************************************************************ To make a long story short, they both kept beating the crap of each other until they died of exhaustion. Boo Hoo. Too bad. Nny went on to take control of all the Taco Smells in the country. The End. 


	5. The End

The End. Can't you understand that? THIS IS THE @#$%ING END! What's so hard to understand! Huh? What is it? Can your puny, underdeveloped minds grasp the fact that this story is over! OVER! O-V-E-R! DO YOU @#$%ING GET IT NOW! How can you not understand the fact that I have finished the WHOLE story! Do you not understand me? Shit, you people never listen to people who want to be understood! All you people do all day is sit around and gloat about being perfect! You know what, YOU ALL SHOULD JUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! WHOA! TOO MANY! CAN'T BREATHE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHOCOLATE MILK! 


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